Sometimes Less Is More...

Can someone explain to me how a person "forgets" about a fight? A few weeks ago, I learned additional information about "him" and another "whore" of his. Mutual friends came forward. Sheepishly, they told me about him bringing her around them for way longer than I knew. "They were all over each other", these friends would tell me. Friends that were ashamed of themselves for not telling me sooner. It wasn't their place. He put them in a very bad position. We met them as a couple so there wasn't any allegiance to one side or the other. They just chose to stay out of it. Frankly? I do not blame them.

After learning of yet another betrayal, I gave up. All civility went out the window. You have to understand (and I can't remember if I've mentioned this already), I haven't overreacted with him.  The screaming and yelling I *could* do didn't seem beneficial to me.  Sure I've expressed my anger and had my words with him, but it was just that. 

Not this time.  I let him have it.  That news just broke me.  Mostly because I was further humiliated by him in front of a particular group of "friends".  People, of which, are now his friends.  Oh I yelled. Yes indeed.  I told him I was through trying to peacefully exist and it was done.  He admitted to everything and then proceeded to tell me that his details were none of my business.  Yeah... that went over well with me. 

For the next couple of weeks, I didn't speak to him unless it was about the children. Even then it was very short answers.  He kept trying to "make friends" again. I was having none of it. He disgusted me. Still does.  I couldn't look at him. 

As time passed, he was still trying to "make friends".  He started texting me about my fave shows/topics.  Asking questions or making jokes.  I casually responded.  Admittedly, I was humored by a couple of remarks.  It was friendly, but it didn't change anything.  Texting a chuckle or two and making amends are two completely different things.  He panics when I become seriously upset because he knows I have him by the balls.  He worries what I'll do to him.  Thus far, I've been very kind and nice about things.  Mostly because I just want it to be over. 

At the same time, he has been lying and cheating for so many years, he still thinks he can manipulate me. He has maneuvered our lives in his best interest for so long and he has become accustomed to getting his way. Eating that cake, scooping up the icing and licking the spatula too.

He did have that power and was completely drunk on it. Things have changed now. See - I *know* now. I am aware of his lies, his betrayals and his scheming. He isn't running things anymore. I am. And I run it like a mutha effin' boss. He has forgotten what how strong and independent I am. He has been reminded that my BS radar still works quite well.

When you are stuck in a strange new town without any friends, just had a baby and raising another small child, it's easy to miss red flags or warning signs. I was too tired to care. Deep down, I knew that I didn't love him anymore and I was just going along with it.

The last few days, he's been trying desperately to change the visitation schedule. He sees them less than 10hrs per week as is. He wants it to be less so he can have every other weekend "off" to socialize and have a life. Really? Really! How nice for you, asshole. Because of your behavior, you only have supervised visits. Meaning, I can't leave and have any time to myself. Sitting in my room while you play with them isn't the same. I have them 24x7x365. I am committed to my children. I've had two nights out since their births. TWO! I never get to have "me" time because I can't afford a babysitter. My parents are too old to handle the children on their own, God bless them. I never get an hour off, much less a weekend.

So he brings up the day I went off on him and how my anger changed everything.  I, calmly, told him that I didn't want to rehash that and it is what it is.  He tells me:  "I thought you'd have gotten over that by now.... I mean.... moved passed it."   He went on to say to me that he never admitted to anything, that the whore in question was never anyone he dated, he certainly never dated her while we were legally married and to tell my "resources" to call him directly and he'd set them straight. 


Who is this dude? Because honestly... I wonder where my head was at when I decided he was a good choice in a mate.

Because I am just over his jackassery, I just responded that he should email me and Cc: my attorney with any visitation change requests and I would look it over. 

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A favorite movie of mine is "Hope Floats" with Sandra Bullock. If you've never seen it, check it out. A great scene from the movie goes as follows:

Birdee Pruitt: I would have stayed with you forever. I would have turned myself inside out for you.

Bill Pruitt: Birdee, I wouldn't have let you! People grow. They change. They have to!

Birdee Pruittanybody's home. Because I am not a quitter. I care about my family! I may not be the same person, but then again, neither are you. You're sad, you're weak, and you're... shorter. If you want to know the truth.

Bill Pruitt: I'm in love with Connie. And this is my chance for a fresh start, and I'm taking it, I'm sorry!

Birdee Pruitt: Then you should take it. If that's how you feel then you should take it. You and Connie deserve each other. You were lucky to have me. But you know what? I think I already got the best part of you. And she's standing right out there, and she's waiting for me. I don't know... what's left just doesn't look so good anymore.

I may not have known of his betrayals during our marriage for various reasons, but I did get the best parts of him. What's left is a sorry, sad and pathetic little man. If he wants less exposure to the kids? He's got it. They'll probably be better off.